CANDIDA - THE MUSICAL!!! Pt. II, The Problem(s)(es)

So a Candida diagnosis - whether self imposed or from a health praticioner - gets a bad rap for about 4 reasons.

1.) It's the cause of so many symptoms, small and large - it just seems like a catchall explanation for so many things, how can that be right?

2.) The Candida sites on this here interweb are mostly run by crazies who want you to BE AFRAID! BE CAREFUL! BE WORRIED! and never, ever think you will be able to eat normal things again (and then they usually post a recipe for a "treat" like garbanzo bean breakfast cereal and you Want. To. Die.)

3.) The fact that allopathic medicine can't seem to wrap their head around systemic Candida as an actual syndrome - even when someone presents with endless vaginal yeast infections and ringworm. They don't have a test that they like - except when it's bloodborne, which only happens usually with people who are profoundly immuno-compromised (think AIDS or chemotherapy).

4.) Everyone loves bagels. EVERYONE. And if you have Candida, you REALLY love them. So the idea of giving up bread, sweets, all that stuff that makes life worth living seems beyond impossible.

My feeling is that you generally know if this is your problem. Sometimes you know it's your problem just out of the level of resistance you have to actually dealing with it. But if that isn't enough for you, here are some anti-fungals you can try. If it helps you to know for sure, then take these and if you have the suggested reaction, chances are right that yeast is your issue.

-Take 3 cayenne pills following a meal. If you have diarrhea, a sudden allergy attack about an hour after taking them, or a severe case of lethargy that almost feels flu-like, then it is likely that yeast is your problem. Heartburn does not count.

-Take one tablespoon of raw apple cider vinegar on an empty stomach. Again, if you experience diarrhea or flu like symptoms, then most likely, yeast is your deal.

-If you try a high quality pro-biotic and that seems to improve your, ahem, situation, then it is likely that your gut flora is imbalanced, which means, yup, too much yeast.

-The famous saliva test, outlined here is a great tool for self diagnosis. All it takes is some spit and an hour of your time.

CANDIDA!! THE MUSICAL: No Not Really, But It's Time For Things To Change

Ooohkay. This was the spring of yeast, and I don't mean the nutritional kind. I have had a lot of people contacting me with intestinal Candida issues, asking me for advice.

Not sure why this was - perhaps some of the airborne fungus from Oregon drifting South (no I am not shi**ing you, it killed two people already), or perhaps it is just the outreach of living in particularly chaotic times that are demanding that we change in ways we perhaps never thought possible or necessary.

(Or maybe it's our crappy American diet that seems to be made of flour, sugar and caffeine - never!! Unhand my eclair!!)

The larger way to view a yeast overgrowth or Candida issue is that it is a problem that develops where there is phelgm. Phlegm is-in a Traditional Chinese Medicine sense-the stuff that is produced and accumulates in parts of the body where chi is "stuck" or not flowing through. So this phlegm represents stagnation. Whether this stagnation is the result of physical stasis or emotional resistance, doesn't matter. It isn't a good thing.

Most of us have phlegm, because most of us are stuck in one way or another - on an idea, a habit, a pre-conceived notion of how our lives are supposed to be or what we ourselves are supposed to look like.

Less metaphysically, most of us eat and drink things that we know our bodies don't react well to, and we continue to do it because we believe it's our god-given right as Americans to eat french fry nachos with extra sour cream.

There's a lot on the web about yeast, some of it written by highly paranoid nut jobs who seem to have made fighting their yeast problem a full time job and are now on a crusade to make you as paranoid as them. But here's some suggestions on how to keep it simple. I'll get more detailed later on.

1.) Whatever you were eating while this problem developed - especially the things you eat everyday - it's better to take a vacation from them now. Don't think of it as cutting something out as much as making room for new things to be invited in.

2.) Sunlight is good! Not excessive of course, but sunlight is particularly healing.

3.) Vary your habits. Whatever they are. It's a good time to alter whatever rut you are in.

4.) Clean house of all unnecessary chemicals. Switch your cosmetics to things that have ingredients you recognize. Put as little strain on your immune system as possible.

More specific suggestions next time.

WHERE IS IT!!?! The Panic Of The Late/Missing Period

Who hasn't lived through the gut-wrenching worry of the late period? Even when you're not getting any and the only opportunity for pregnancy would be supernatural, a period that won't come down is a real drag. So after you are SURE you aren't pregnant, here are a few things that might help the Reds along.

-First of all, it's a good idea to make sure you aren't hosting a hidden yeast infection. It is possible to have one and not be symptomatic. If you're more than usually tired, experiencing more nasal allergies than usual and craving sweets or bread, this might be your culprit. Try this or this or even just a tampon with a few drops of castor oil and tea tree oil overnight. If that's your issue, it should come right down.

-Try some yoga. Bow pose (like this) with some gentle rocking back and forth should help. Any pose that brings blood to the pelvis region is a good idea.

-Lastly, and this is one of my favorites, parsley tea. It's not yummy, but it's easy. Grab a bunch of organic parsley, boil some water. When the water has boiled, turn it off, throw in the washed parsley and put a top on the pan. Let it sit from 10 minutes to a half hour. Then - drink. Is it wonderful. Nope. Tastes like ass. BUT it works.

But the great thing about doing any of this work is the reward: 5 days of cramping and bleeding. Whee.

THE DIRTY DOZEN!! Pt. 2: I choose my choice!

I was not a constant watcher of SEX IN THE CITY, and close friends have heard me denigrate that show for being a big reason why Manhattan was full of narcissistic nincompoops with $40,000 handbags and collapsing arches, tromping around the meat packing district at midnight in the early 2000's

But I do remember Charlotte's 3rd wave feminism freakout episode about the choice to not work and stay home. She simply couldn't reconcile what she was doing any other way except to say "I CHOOSE MY CHOICE!!"

Well, these next risk factors are not as shocking as the last, and a bunch of them have to do with the life you decide to live. Again, having grown up in Wisconsin around a lot of libertarian-leaning Krauts, there is a tendency to see these dire results of taking part in widely advertised vices as being just another moralistic con to get you to live by the Good Rules.

I don't suggest that anyone live in fear, but I do suggest thoughtful moderation, as opposed to reactionary pig-out.

That being said:

6. Eating a HIGH ANIMAL FAT DIET, especially MEAT or DAIRY contaminated with ADDED HORMONES or rBGH and IGF-1. More simply put, stay away from non-organic dairy and meats, and you won't have to become a scientist at the meat counter.

7. Using HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS CONTAINING CHEMICAL CARCINOGENS or LIVING CLOSE TO A CHEMICAL PLANT OR HAZARDOUS WASTE SITES. This is the most far reaching, as 90% of the chemicals in our commercial cleaning products have no testing record to say whether they are safe. As far as where you live, this is something to really think about when moving.

8. Having a job that exposes you to large amounts of CARCINOGENS. I.E. almost all industrial jobs expose their workers to carcinogenic chemicals.

And these last four need no explanation.

9. The consistent use of ALCOHOL starting at an early age.

10. The consistent use of TOBACCO starting from an early age.

11. The leading of an INACTIVE AND SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE.

12. The regular use of BLACK OR DARK BROWN PERMANENT OR SEMI-PERMANENT HAIR DYES.

THE DIRTY DOZEN!! Pt. 1: Breast cancer prevention tips from CPC

I bet ya'll have heard of the American Cancer Association - right? Put your hands in the air if you have ever walked/ran/biked to raise money for them? Now put your hands in the air if you know anything about the Cancer Prevention Coalition...no? Yeah, that's the issue.

We spend a lot of money trying to cure cancer in this country. And when I say a lot, I actually mean A LOT. SHITLOADS. TONS. MORE MONEY THAN YOU CAN PICTURE. IT WON'T FIT IN YOUR HOUSE.

This is important for us all to note. We spend money trying to make sick people well. But we don't spend a lot of time or attention on trying to keep people well.

The Cancer Prevention Coalition is located at the University of Chicago, and it has been around for a surprising amount of time, trying to bring our attention to what we can do to not get sick in the first place. This list is specifically about breast cancer, and some of the risk factors may surprise you. Because they aren't the usual Exercise! Eat Better! Don't Be Fat! stuff.

This first group has specifically to do with medical risks. Meaning, these things that Doctors are willing to prescribe you for your health may elevate your risk of breast cancer.

1. The early and prolonged use of ORAL CONTRACEPTIVES. Yup, the pill. Sorry gals.

2. The prolonged use of high doses of ESTROGEN REPLACEMENT. This has been in the news.

3. PRE-MENOPAUSAL MAMMOGRAPHY with early and repeated exposure. This one is especially important to pay attention to. The Komen Pink Ribbon people have repeatedly ignored this particular piece of research.

4. The early and prolonged use of some ANTI-HYPERTENSIVE drugs. This is especially true for women who start using these drugs before the age of 55.

5. The use of SILICONE GEL BREAST IMPLANTS, ESPECIALLY THOSE WRAPPED IN
POLYURETHANE FOAM. This one is self explanatory

NO CURE FOR CANCER!! And other unfortunate truths.

So you might have read recently about the BREAST CANCER VACCINE! Almost every major news source has a story on the BREAST CANCER VACCINE! I write it this way with this punctuation because that is exactly the mood and tone in which this news has been delivered to us. From the sounds of the headlines, we will soon be given yet another booster shot, but this one will - wait for it - STOP BREAST CANCER!!

Okay, now for the discouraging part.

This vaccine has been tested on 12 mice. Yup, you heard me. 12 mice. 12 mice who were genetically engineered to have a genetic predisposition for breast cancer. Right there, we have already run into some problems. Breast cancer is not a primarily genetic disease. Less than 10% are genetically caused. The rest are caused by a confusing and ever changing combination of lifestyle and environment.

So why the trumpeting headlines? Because the company who is testing this thing needs more money if it's ever going to actually make it to human trials which are - despite the headlines - about 2 years away.

If you are serious about addressing the threat of breast cancer - and frankly, we all should be - then these "Dirty Dozen Risk Factors For Breast Cancer" are a good place to start, provided by the Cancer Prevention Coalition on my next blog post.

HOLY F**KING SH*T, WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!!! The Spleen Returns!

Well. Since the last time I wrote here, I was pulled away to San Francisco on an intellectual and spiritual journey that actually came in the form of a paying job. How often does that happen? I am inclined to say "never", but it just did, and while I was up there, writing narration for a science documentary I was feeling such a magic combination of grace and kismet, I'm doing my best to avoid the normal cynicism.

It occurred to me recently that I have always focused on the spots of resistance. Maybe it's growing up in Wisconsin and too many long, dark winters. Maybe it's just an ornery inbred nature. And for that reason I have avoided saying the obvious.

We live in a world that is increasingly poisonous. We have assented to this. Partially because of a naive belief that someone (the government, God,  your mother) is looking out for you. Partially because we are too busy to check on the state of the world, the state of nature.  And also because we figured that whatever industry fucked up, medicine will make right.

To be clear, I think Western medical practices work for trauma. And indeed, anyone who has ever gone to a hospital after a serious accident and walked away from it can attest that in that arena, the human race has truly accomplished something.

But for almost everything else - the kind of chronic health problems that define this particular time in history - they have been worse than useless. They continually fail to accurately calculate and consider the physical toll of living in an increasingly polluted environment. Instead, they continue to natter on about a genetic "cure" for cancer, when the President's Cancer Panel says that only a minute percentage of cancers (less than 10 percent) are genetic, and the rest are environmentally caused.

We know almost nothing about the toxicity and long term effects of the chemical bath we live in. The testing simply has not been done. Industry hasn't wanted it, and the government hasn't overruled them.

Therefore I am going to own up to a goal of this blog. It's defensive medicine. I am trying to connect you to resources that will help you maintain your health in a time of great unknowns.

I am going to try to blog better, more consistently. And I am now going to invite anyone who reads this to write in with questions, puzzling anomalies, and health emergencies. I will not be able to answer everything, but I WILL find you someone who can.