PAIN IN THE ASS! Ulcerative Colitis for beginners - for N.

So there was a request for me to talk about UC. Yes people, the Spleen knows everything about the UC system. Not. But she does know a lot about Ulcerative Colitis.

First of all, for those who don't know much about Ulcerative Colitis, it's considered an auto-immune disorder with a similar inflammatory pattern to certain kinds of arthritis. One definition says that the immune system attacks the colon - my own experience of it feels more like the colon become suddenly inflammed - as if someone had tried to sand it with a large grade sandpaper. And then you tried to push poop through it. Nuf said.

The result of the inflamed colon tends to be bloody diarrhea, severe cramping, and just generally a lot of running to the bathroom. GOOD TIMES.

I was diagnosed with UC when I was 11, but haven't been on any meds for it since I was about 20. At 20 I started smoking and, weirdly enough, that seems to control UC outbreaks. I didn't have a peep from mine until the spring after I quit cigarettes. That spring I had a nasty flare up. But oddly - and I think this is important to note - mostly sans blood. Granted, I was eating a mostly liquid diet, but the pattern of cramping and tearing ass to the bathroom was generally the same. It lasted about 2 months, and then resolved itself somewhat spontaneously. Since then - and its been about 12 years since then - I've had two major flare ups which I have treated with diet, acupuncture and herbs.

Ultimately, I recognize that UC is an energetic disorder with physical symptoms. This is highly inconvenient because it means that you need to keep a really clean house with your mental health. You need to manage your stress, and you need to dive deep and get a handle on whatever bad habits you have that allow external factors to manifest as internal conflict. You have to get to know yourself and get really, really honest. It doesn't mean that your inability to manage your stress gives you UC and so IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. It just means that the load of bullshit you can manage healthily is perhaps smaller than other folks - and really, this is ultimately an advantage.

I hear they have great drugs out there that suppress the symptoms - but that they lose effectiveness over time. Frankly, I'm not interested in medicating this particular problem. I don't want to trade the ability to eat french fries for losing my colon when I'm in my fifties or sixties.

The non medicalized road to UC health is arduous and demands that you really stay committed to the plan. Consistency is the key.

Diet is SUPER IMPORTANT. It tends to be SUPER JOYLESS during flare ups.
Here's what I do:

-Absolutely no fried foods. NO. FRIED. FOODS. AT ALL. Meaning tortilla chips or any other junk food that is fried.
-No junk food. 
-No caffeine.
-No raw foods.
-No nuts or crunchy beans, like soynuts.
-Well cooked vegetables or soups. If the flare up is imminent or already happening, you should be eating food that is almost pre-digested.
-Small amounts of well cooked chicken or fish. No red meat.
-Check out Dr. Weil's Anti-inflammatory diet as a guide for the best foods to include.
-I find it's better to eat white rice or overcooked brown rice than any kind of flour products...
-...and anyway, no gluten during flare ups...
-...and no sugar. Maybe a little honey in tea, but that's it.
-High quality yogurt, absolutely has to be organic, and should be plain without sweetener.
-All your foods should be as high quality and clean as possible.
-And this is the kicker: ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL. 

Here are the supplements that I use when there is a flare up or I can feel one coming on.

-Slippery elm. Start with two capsules at every meal, and QUICKLY build to a heaping tablespoon  three times a day mixed with water. In the middle of a flare up, I start taking 8 capsules about 6 times a day which is about the same amount.
-Marshmallow root. Take a tea. Can make some people kind of hyper and sleepless, so start with a teaspoon steeped for 10 minutes.
-The best pro-biotic money can buy. Take 15 minutes after every meal. This is so important I can't even begin to truly communicate how important it is.

The last part to the treatment plan is really, really necessary. Find yourself a good acupuncturist. Be prepared that your symptoms will get a little worse before they get better. But this part - this is key. I would not be able to manage my symptoms without either of my acupuncturists.

Ultimately, I believe anyone can manage their UC and probably be mostly free from it. But it takes a willingness to do whatever is necessary to maintain health. If you are willing to put your health absolutely first in every situation, you should do pretty well. Even if you whine like a baby about what a pain in the ass it is.

Of course you could just go eat worms. Srsly.